It was nothing!

You've probably heard the phrase "it was nothing" several times when you've gotten hurt, cried, or got mad at things that are apparently small. This behavior is learned and is usually directed at young children.

But have you stopped and thought why we do such behavior? Why is it hard to recognize and welcome someone's pain, however small? I am not talking about tantrums, but about the difficulty we have in identifying that crying or sadness should be embraced.

Around two or three years of age, children are able to relate words to feelings and to name facial expressions. But for them it can still be difficult to recognize and identify complex emotions such as envy or jealousy. Talking about feelings and recognizing them can be difficult for parents, as they often hide their emotions with the intention of protecting or sparing their children.

There is no specific person who teaches us how to improve our emotional abilities, which include identifying, recognizing and managing emotions, since this is a capacity learned through development and in the most diverse situations.

As the child develops and is confronted with various feelings, it is up to the adult to identify them to the child if she can’t name and accept such feelings. In this way, we are creating emotionally aware children.

Why are emotions important? One research found that people who are emotionally skillful do better in school, have better relationships, and engage less frequently in unhealthy behaviors.

'RULER'1 is an emotion teaching program that has been applied in more than 1000 schools in the United States and abroad, whose goal is to recognize emotions in oneself and in others; understand the causes and consequences of emotions; labeling of emotional experiences with a precise and diversified vocabulary, and expressing and regulating emotions in ways that promote growth. This program was developed in 2005 and is one of the most prominent school programs for teaching about emotions.

Denmark2 is another country that cares about this theme, because it has the empathy in the school curriculum of children from 6 to 16 years. Called Klassens Tid, it is a time when students talk about individual or group-level problems. Together, the class tries to respect all aspects and angles and find a solution. The practice has existed since the 1870s, but was turned into an education law in 1993 and expanded since then. It is intended to help teachers as well as students. The goal is to create a safe and welcoming environment where problems are exhibited and children learn to put things in perspective.

See you next time,
Laura

1 http://ideas.ted.com/should-emotions-be-taught-in-schools/

2 https://qz.com/763289/denmark-has-figured-out-how-to-teach-kids-empathy-and-make-them-happier-adults/