How to deal with children's questions!

I've already written about the importance of dialogue between parents and their children, and communication within the family in general. As simple as it may seem, some people still have doubts about, or hesitate doing it. And there's nothing wrong as long as you're ready to change.

When children are very young, their questions generally turn into talks. To ask and to clarufy doubts is an essential part of the learning process. But not all children feel comfortable to say they didn't understand something or even to satisfy their curiosity, either because of shyness or because the environment at home or at school doesn't make them feel at ease to do so.

The fact that the child does not feel at ease to ask something may be related to a number of factors but this is not the purpose of this posting, it is to discuss the importance of this phase in the learning process and construction of the children's identity.

If your child comes to you with doubts or even curiosities, then that's a good sign. It means the child is growing, it's trying to understand the world and that it is searching for people it can trust to solve its questions. Sometimes adult may avoid these moments because they fear the direction the conversation may take them. Talking about sexuality, death, drugs, limits and other issues may frighten parents.

There shouldn't be any embarrassment or fear of talking about these subjects with your kid. Parents shouldn't hide their feelings. Try to identify the reason why you feel uncomfortable and take some time for yourself. Start talking about subjects you feel more comfortable explaining, and if necessary say you'll need some time because you don't know the answer, but that you'll find it. Do some research, and learn together with your child!

And then oppositely there are those parents who don't demonstrate any embarrassment and speak freely with their children. This is great, but the kid must take some time. Identify what it already knows about the subject, and explain only what it's trying to understand. Use terms and words it is already used to and introduce new ones little by little. Avoid going beyond what the child may understand or abstract. Adults usually like to demonstrate that they master a certain subject, but tend to mess up the child's thoughts and treat certain issues too early for the child's age. Use these moments of curiosity and discovery of the kids to get close to them, to find out the reason for that question, and be close to what's going on in their little heads. 

See you next time

Laura