My son does not know how to lose!

Everyone likes to win, be it a football match or a race. When we are young winning is a necessity. Every interaction with parents or friends becomes a competitive environment and winning is the priority.

This behavior is part of the child development since they are learning social rules and many concepts. Up to four years old it is natural to compete for everything. At this stage it's common to hear some typical phrases such as mine is better or mine is bigger.

The problem is when winning becomes a priority in any and all interaction. Others behaviours may arise along this one, e.g. crying, tantrums and aggressiveness.To the child it can be diffcult  to understand that it isn't possible always to win and  from there to deal with loss and frustration.

To avoid this situation it is advisable to encourage cooperative games and not only competitive ones. Games where everyone needs to work together to win is educational and helps children at this stage. When it's not possible to play  cooperative games, highligth cooperative behaviors that the child has presented and not just the fact that he has won.

At this stage children worry a lot about themselves and we need to show them that is not how things work. So for a very young age, children need to learn and therefore deal with what they are feeling. Name and recognize the feeling of joy in winning the game and also the feeling of frustration and anger when losing. It is not wrong to show that you or a particular child was sad that you did not win and that you would have liked to win. 

See you next time,

Laura