Paternal figure!

When we think about childhood development and others related subjects, we think about the mother or other maternal figure. The relationship between a child and the maternal figure is fundamental to child's development. But what about the paternal figure, the father, grandfather, and even the uncle? Why do we speak so little about them?

One day I read that no one is born a father, but becomes one. Raising and caring for a child are hard tasks that require effort, time, dedication, and patience. To think that educating a child is an exclusive responsibility of the mother figure is wrong, as it is also up to the father figure, whoever it is, to participate.

On the first months of life of a baby, while he is still being breastfed, it’s expected that the  mom  will spend more time with him. But after this period, the father must also be present in all related activities. And the mom needs to understand this situation and let the father participate and discover how to start the relationship with the baby.

This participation includes, for instance, bathing, changing diapers and putting the baby to bed. The same way the mom is discovering this new world, the father is too and both need help from each other so the bond between the family grows naturally. Of course the relationship between the parents and the child is assimetric, with children generally associating the mother with care and the father with protection.

As the years go by, the child grows up and the relationship change. In some moments, the father may be able to easily handle a particular situation that the child is going through and in others it may be the mother who has this hability. The family routine, the hours of work and the division of tasks within the home must be decided together, preferably with an agreement between the family.

Unfortunately in our culture we don't estimulate boys to be fathers. For instance, when a boy plays with dolls his masculinity is questioned, so we have a model of fatherhood that defines a robotic father, which only executes orders but is not connected to the children.

Therefore, it is not only necessary for the father to be physically present, but also that he contributes to the education and the formation of the children and is not indifferent to their development.

See you next time,

Laura